Questions For Couples

Communication is key and often the business of life prevents deep, satisfying conversations with your significant other. Below is an exercise for couples to use to start building a stronger habit of communication that goes deep than 'how was work'.

These questions can be conducted in person but if that does not leave you enough time to go deep feel free to connect over any means of communication via text, phone calls, Marco Polo, or email. The question should receive a reply goes deeper, try to validate the feelings being shared.

Example: "I can see that you would have felt loved through your parents spending time with you, do you think I put effort into spending time with you?" or "I didn't know you felt alone often as a child? do you still feel alone now?"

Understanding your partner’s values and priorities is crucial for building a strong and meaningful relationship. Here are some thoughtful questions that can help you dive deeper into their thoughts, feelings, and desires:

Childhood/Past Questions:

How did you feel and know that you were loved as a child?

What did you do when you felt alone?

What career did you want to pursue as an adult?

What did you think was important as a child?

What do you think your peers thought of you?

Feelings/Thoughts:

What is something you find yourself thinking about often?

What overall feeling do you find the most uncomfortable experiencing?

How do you feel when you are alone? 

How do you feel when you are with family or close friends?

Not including your relationship, if you could go back 10 years, what is one area in your life you would change and how? 

Motivations/Values:

What would motivate you to move to a different state?

What would cause a close friendship to end for you?

How would you set a boundary with a neighbor who is violating your space?

What's more important to you, people liking you as a person or feeling valuable to others?

The answers you both have can be discussed in our next session to better understand each other. You will already have a good idea for some if not all of these, feel free to ask deeper questions to expand on your understanding of each other. 

Enjoy the time together